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I'm excited. Feeling more confident about writing now. Took a week off after NaNoWriMo, and ready to get back into tomorrow. My goal is to finish this first draft by Christmas, which should be easy because I probably only have about 15,000 words to go, if that.
Then I can edit it! And make it better!
Goals for 2010 include editing this novel to make it awesome, as well as writing another novel before next NaNoWriMo. I'll either write the sequel to this novel, or get back to working on another kids novel I started writing a couple years ago and was too lame to continue. It's a great storyline, though, so I might go back to it.
I think it would be incredible to be a published author. NaNoWriMo was like a godsend. It taught me how to write first drafts (not that I've quite finished mine yet, but I'm confident I will very soon). This method works so well for me. It doesn't give me time to criticize my work as I go, because I have a whole heck lot of words due at a specific deadline! Definitely giving myself deadlines from now on for word counts for first drafts. All my novels fizzle out because I get too bogged down in details and get too critical of myself. I never remember that all I'm writing first...is a first draft! It can suck! It's okay! There are countless future hours to make it better! But first, that story needs to be coughed out of you and onto the page.
I'm very excited. So much more confident now, despite my novel currently being in a state that could be likened to animal excrement. I'm going to be a friggin' author. Heck, I already am an author. But I'm going to be a friggin' PUBLISHED author.
This is not just a hope, this is a fact. When I set my mind on something, it gets done. And I've had my mind set on this since childhood. The very first bit of writing I can find from myself when I was a kid was a five sentence story about a girl getting a kitten that I wrote when I was four years old.
I'm going to see this dream through.
After all, do or do not. There is no try. |
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I celebrate Christmas. I am not Christian.
Christmas means something very important to me - it is a time for love, for sharing, for giving, for charity, for family, for friends, for celebrating generosity. It is the absolute most important holiday of the year for me.
Yes, "Christmas" began as a celebration of the birth of Christ. But let's be honest. Before that, the holiday of this time was a Pagan celebration of light and the sun which was then adapted to a Christian holiday. So first of all, Christians, please do not pretend you have a monopoly on or invented December holidays. Secondly, please do not presume to tell me how to celebrate the most meaningful day of my year. Whether you are happy about it or not, the holiday "Christmas" does not mean the same that it does for you. And no, I won't call it something else. This is the name that has meaning for me.
Culture always changes. Christmas has been hugely altered from its original state. Many non-Christians celebrate this holiday now. If you want, go ahead and "keep the Christ in Christmas"...as long as it is in YOUR Christmas. Christians need to start accepting that this is a holiday hugely important to a lot of people who don't necessarily celebrate the Bible story side of it.
Frankly, the figure I celebrate at Christmas is Santa Claus rather than Jesus. Sure, he may be a largely fictional character just loosely based off a saint, but he is a WONDERFUL figure to celebrate. I believe in Santa Claus. That is why I celebrate Christmas. I will defend Santa until the day I die. To grow up with the idea that there is someone out there who's life ambition is to give people happiness...what could be a more inspiring role model? People argue that Santa just creates greed at Christmas time, but that was never so in my family. My sister and I would work for hours on hand made gifts for our parents for the holiday. The elves at Santa's workshop did this for people they didn't even know, so we certainly could for our parents. We would make a list for Santa, but neither of us were ever extravagant. At the end of our lists, we would always ask for some good wish for others, like peace on Earth or food for the hungry. I think "Christmas greed" is something that can be easily avoided if parents take the time to instill good morals in their kids. No need to blame this greed on an imaginary man in a red suit.
I think I'm just tired of hearing people complain about what Christmas has become. Yeah, yeah, it's too "commercial" - how many people who say that are the same people up at 3 am for Black Friday shopping? "There isn't enough about Jesus in the holiday" - what more could Jesus ask for than a holiday that brings loved ones together to take care of each other and be giving?
Stop focusing on Jesus-worship, already. I'm pretty sure Jesus would actually be friggin' angry if he found out people devoted that much energy to worshipping him. I'm fairly certain he'd opt for a holiday that got everyone giving to charity and basking in the love of family rather than a day talking about his "humble" birth in a manger, like that was some great struggle and triumph for him. Not that the birth of Jesus story isn't a heart-warming tale, but trust me, babies have been and are today born in much worse conditions, and no one writes songs about them. If Jesus is the guy everyone claims he is, I really think he'd be pretty embarrassed. |
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"Look outside at the nearest tree — or bird, or dog. Do you think of that organism as your relative, a member of your family tree worthy of compassion and empathy? If you’re honest answer is yes, you are a member of an exceedingly small minority."
- Excerpt from Scott Sampson's new blog: The Whirlpool of Life
Scott Sampson points out that the main root of our problem with over-using the resources of this planet and abusing its inhabitants is that we continue to learn creation stories that teach us we are the best thing on Earth. But scientists know those stories are not truth, and actually know the real story (or pieces of it) through evolution. If we can begin to teach how every part of our world is interrelated, we will instead train new generations to care of this planet as they care for their family.
I am part of the minority Sampson speaks of. My goal in life is to increase the number of people to see the world that way, but I just haven't figured out how. I've put myself into a career path that will hopefully place me in positions to discuss science with kids. I've beaten evolution into the heads of my family and friends. These things I suppose will come together in time. I just hope there is a way I can reach a broader audience. I spend hours every day contemplating ways to bring the concept of evolution and the morals I believe go with its knowledge to the greater public. But so far, I have not come to any brilliant ideas.
I will figure out something. There must be a way. |
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50,000
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Nov. 27th, 2009 @ 11:30 pm
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Dinner took a while to make because the turkey took twice as long to cook as it should have. However, everything was finally all ready about an hour ago, and I sat down and ate a lot of it. Turkey was alright - could've been better, I'm sure, but at least it was finally cooked. Side dishes were good, and dessert was yummy. I'm appropriately stuffed.
Sort of weird though. Ate a full Thanksgiving meal by myself in my kitchen, with a book to keep me company. Even though by the time I ate I was so exhausted from cooking all day that I had basically forgotten I was supposed to feel lonely, dinner ended up feeling really weird. My brain associates eating those foods together with being surrounded by loved ones. Something just felt definitely "off" about the whole experience.
I am thankful I am lucky enough to eat a meal that fills me up that much, though.
However, here's hoping next year I get to share it with someone. |
| » Thankful |
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Time again to take a moment to remember some awesome things.
I am thankful for my family, who sticks by me through everything and supports me in my life decisions. I am thankful that I have a job in this economic climate, and one that I love and enjoy as much as I do. I am thankful that I have a masters degree, and thankful to everyone at Stony Brook for helping me to get there. I am thankful for my friends - so many of them I can only talk to through the internet, so I am thankful for the internet as well. On that note, I am thankful for the forum I visit everyday that keeps me entertained. I am thankful for my rats, and thankful that Mikey held out and stayed with me all the way through grad school. I am thankful that I have health insurance, so that I can go have my ankle looked at in a month by a professional. I am thankful I have enough money to buy myself a good Thanksgiving dinner. I am thankful I have so many people in my life who care about me and were sad to find out I would be spending Thanksgiving alone. I am thankful to have a special person that truly loves me for me. I am thankful that Yin's family is doing well. I am thankful that we have a president that is taking our country in a direction I approve of. I am thankful the world is starting to really come together on subjects like global warming. I am thankful for the men and women who dedicate their lives to defending human rights and helping to make life better for people around the world. I am thankful for NaNoWriMo, which finally convinced me to sit down and seriously write a book. I am thankful I live in an apartment that is cat-friendly, so that if loneliness becomes too much, I can get a friend to share my apartment with. Finally, I am thankful for the Macy's Day Thanksgiving Parade, because it made me look forward to a holiday this year that could have been something to dread, since it is the first year I am spending it alone. But thanks to the Parade, I am excited and ready to kickstart this awesome day.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!!
Nov. 26th, 2009 @ 08:47 am
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| » build myself up |
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I have to learn to build myself up. There is so much in this world that is horrible, and I manage to make myself feel guilty for all of it. The guilt drives me to wonder if there is any point to me being here, since my existence hasn't solved all the world's problems.
Sounds silly when you write it out, but that's how my brain works.
So for now on, whenever I think that there is no point to me being on this planet, because there is just too much bad stuff and I could never hope to help at all, I need to take the time to remember -
I HAVE helped. My existence has been a positive thing for this world.
I've shaped the lives of many children in great ways.
I've opened the eyes of people to the world of science and learning.
I've saved lives.
I've given many creatures a loving, comfortable life that they likely would not have had if they had not found me.
I've taught animals how to love and trust people again.
I taught a puppy that the world isn't there to beat and abuse him. I taught him how to play and cuddle and love.
I've provided top notch care for working animals, giving them as good as a life as was within my power.
I've been there for friends who were in need. I've helped to pull people back from the edge. I've brightened their spirits.
I've touched a lot of lives, and will continue to do so. The world may be full of problems, but it needs people like me who try to solve them bit by bit. I can't let the sheer volume of problems overwhelm me. I'm trying, and I am making a difference. It's like the starfish story. You have to choose how you measure the difference you make.
Sorry if this seems very "It's a Wonderful Life"-ish, but it's important for me to get this all out. This world tears me apart. My brain is built funny - I carry far too much empathy than is healthy, and if I don't change how I view the world, then I risk falling apart and giving up on everything. I can't save every single creature on this planet, human or non-human, from all their pains and troubles. But the fact that I can save SOME of them means that I am worth something to them. I am valuable and important. Without me, a lot of lives could have been a lot worse off, or even non-existent.
Now, if only I could train myself to remember this consistently.
Nov. 21st, 2009 @ 09:57 am
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| » facing goodbye |
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I may have to make a very difficult decision tomorrow. Please send Mikey your love.
Oct. 17th, 2009 @ 06:56 pm
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| » you have to be kidding me |
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Nickelodeon has changed its logo, as of today.
No more classic splat, or any of its many variations:
Instead, we get this incredibly boring thing:
What the heck were they thinking? Not nearly as kid-friendly. Not nearly as fun. And way to slam the door on any childhood connection I still had to that network. Sigh. One more reason added to the growing list on why Nickelodeon has lost its touch.
Sep. 28th, 2009 @ 05:42 pm
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| » Meme! |
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Stole this from Bre...
10 years ago – I was 14. Just starting high school. Was quite determined to be less of a failure socially, but continued to fail. I didn't care too much, though, because I had awesome friends. (Though my friend Angie was going through some tough times and would soon move away...) I was in orchestra, loved Pokemon and Star Wars, and would very shortly be getting into Harry Potter.
5 years ago – I was 19. I was very confused about who I was and how other people fit into my life. My new mouse Cheezit was the center of my universe. I was starting new classes as a Sophomore at U of M, and wondering if that year would be any easier than the one before it. Life was just about to get crazier.
1 year ago – I was 23. I was starting the second year of grad school and wishing with all my heart that I wasn't. The next year of classes seemed like it would take forever to get through, and the thought of announcing that I wanted to leave was so intimidating I could barely sleep. My pet rats Donny and Mikey kept me mildly sane, until Donny got very sick very suddenly. Last fall was not a fantastic time, either.
Yesterday – I was 24. Life is very different now. I am now in Boston with a new AWESOME job that I love. I have finished my master's degree. Mikey is still with me against all odds. The only remaining downside is that Yin and I STILL are not in the same state as one another. But we're working on that. Maybe by this time next year. Anyhow, yesterday I got up and went to work where I continued to learn how to run Starlab. Then I came home, showered, made some spagetti, and curled up with Harry Potter and the HBP for several hours before finally talking myself into unpacking a bit more. Life has definitely improved.
5 snacks I enjoy:
1. Popcorn
2. Chips and cheese/salsa/spinach and artichoke dip
3. Chocolate
4. Candy (of the non-chocolate variety)
5. Raisins
5 Songs I know all the words to:
1. The Banana Slug Song - TMBG
2. Don't Stop Believing - Journey
3. Circle of Life - The Lion King
4. 99 Luftballons - Nena
5. Music of the Night - The Phantom of the Opera
5 things I would do with 100 million dollars:
1. Donate most of it to wildlife/animal rescue/environmental organizations of my choosing.
2. Find a way to use it to transport Yin up to Boston.
3. Buy a house with a yard so I can get a dog.
4. Pay for my parent's next world-exploring trip.
5. Save a little to pay for publishing fees once I get a novel finished.
5 places I would run away to:
1. Wildwood
2. Wyoming
3. Michigan (home)
4. Someplace remote and exotic after I go kidnap my boyfriend
5. SoCal to go hang with Marie
5 things I would never wear:
1. Pants with something written across the butt.
2. Pink things.
3. A tube top.
4. Thong underwear.
5. Thong sandals. (I hate that strip of plastic between your toes!)
5 favorite TV shows:
1. Psych
2. Scrubs
3. Bones
4. Batman animated series
5. Teen Titans
5 bad habits:
1. Letting paperwork pile up.
2. Eating even when I'm not hungry.
3. Never writing people back.
4. Staying up too late.
5. Falling asleep at inappropriate times.
5 biggest joys:
1. Yin
2. The life Yin and I will have together and our future family.
3. Friends, family, pets...basically having someone who cares.
4. Stories that I get from my adventures.
5. Seeing unspoiled nature in all its splendor.
5 favorite toys:
1. My laptop
2. My car
3. My TV
4. My viola.
5. My golf clubs.
Sep. 10th, 2009 @ 09:52 pm
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| » friends |
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You know...I really have good friends here. And it is going to suck not getting to see them much anymore. You can't go through the hell that is grad school without forming close bonds along the way. I'm really going to miss my friends.
I was going to say more on the subject, but I think that sums it up pretty nicely.
Aug. 13th, 2009 @ 11:02 pm
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| » Lots of stuff |
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First of all, thanks for all the congratulations! I'm so relieved to be done with this degree. It is such a great feeling.
Second of all...I think moving gets increasingly complicated as you age. I think maybe being an adult just means being able to successfully and independently move to a new state without everything falling apart. Also: at what point did I acquire so much...stuff? I feel I could fill the entire city of Boston with all the stuff I am packing up!
Anyhow, off to pay a LOT of money to get three copies of my thesis bound and printed! One for me, one for my advisor, and one for my parents (of course). Then I'll be officially done with thesis stuff! (At least until I start thinking about revising my manuscript and submitting it for journal publication...)
Aug. 13th, 2009 @ 02:11 pm
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| » DONE |
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Thesis is done.
Thesis is done.
Thesis is done.
And handed in.
Thesis is done and handed in.
Thesis is done and handed in.
This means, in turn, I AM DONE.
I AM DONE.
I AM DONE WITH MY MASTERS PROGRAM.
HELLZ YEAH, PROFESSORS. TAKE THAT!
Aug. 11th, 2009 @ 07:05 pm
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| » Updates |
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This was me this last weekend ^
I now have an apartment for the next year in Boston. Very exciting (and very expensive *shudders*). As September gets closer and closer I get happier and happier. My new job should be a blast. It's going to be a lot of work, but I really can't wait to get started.
Currently, I'm still on Long Island, trying to wrap this thesis up. I'm hoping to have it done by the end of next week, because it is due the following week - and by "due", I mean my professors already have to be done reading it by that point and sign my form. So it really needs to be done soon. Unfortunately, I'm sort of waiting for profs to email back edits of the thesis, so there is not much I can do at this very moment.
Mikey is doing pretty good. He had a small stroke just over a week ago, but boy did he bounce back from that! He has a few physical limitations now, but he seems as happy as ever and is getting around just fine. I'm so proud of my old man.
In other news, gonna go whale watching this weekend with my sister! I'm super excited.
I think that's just about it right now. So there you go, LJ. An update!
Jul. 29th, 2009 @ 04:58 pm
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| » HBP!!!! |
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Saw Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince last night!!!
( Click for Katie's review (hint, it's a good one) )
Jul. 16th, 2009 @ 10:44 pm
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| » HARRY POTTER HILARITY |
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Okay, the world needs to watch this.
Harry Potter: The Musical
Full length musical, done by U of M students, smooshing all 7 Harry Potter books into a 2 1/2 hour production.
I've already watched it twice (I've been sick and just laying around, lol), and I still can't stop laughing about it. Funniest thing I've seen on YouTube...ever.
Ron is HILARIOUS. Though Draco totally steals the show, haha.
And the Quirrell/Voldemort interactions will crack you up.
Watch it now!
RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMBLEROAR!!!!!!!
Jun. 23rd, 2009 @ 03:54 pm
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| » 100 Truths |
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WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Water (exciting AND healthy!)
2. Last phone call: My sister. =)
3. Last text message: Um...I think to my sister? During her graduation?
4. Last song you listened to: Pinball Wizard
5. Last time you cried: Watching Homeward Bound about an hour ago.
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: No
7. Been cheated on: Eh...don't know if it counts
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: No
9. Lost someone special: Yes
10. Been depressed: Yup
11. Been drunk and threw up: Never
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. Orange
13. Green
14. Red
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: Yep
16. Fallen out of love: Nope
17. Laughed until you cried: I don't think so
18. Met someone who changed you: This year? Hrm...I don't think so.
19. Found out who your true friends are: Confirmed it, is the better word choice
20. Found out someone was talking about you: No
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: Yep
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: I think all.
23. How many kids do you want to have: 2-3, preferably. Are we counting pets as kids? Cuz then a lot more.
25. Do you want to change your name: Nope!
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Technically it was the day before my b-day, but Yin and I went to the Bronx Zoo.
27. What time did you wake up today: 9am. And then 10am.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Shaking uncontrollably under my covers as my fever broke.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Living with Yin
30. Last time you saw your Mother: For Jeannie's move-in last month
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Figuring out a way to both have a good job and live near Yin.
32. What are you listening to right now: Sweet Home Alabama (song change from earlier!)
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Uh, yes?
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: NOT HAVING A JOB
35. Most visited webpage: www.aza.org/joblistings
36. What's your real name: Katherine
37. Nicknames: Should I really list them all? Let me see if I can...Katie, Kate, Rainee, Blender, Katla, Grimzog, Willow, Smuggles, P^8, Batman, Rat Lady, Writer Girl...
38. Relationship Status: *glomptackles Yin*
39. Zodiac sign: Leo
40. Male or female: Female
41. Elementary School: Hiawatha
42. Middle School: Kinawa
43. High school/college: Okemos/UofM/Stony Brook
44. Hair colour: some sort of lighter shade of brown
45. Long or short: Long. Very.
46. Height: 5'2"
47. Do you have a crush on someone: no?
48: What do you like about yourself: I can write stories pretty decently I think.
49. Piercings: Ears
50. Tattoos: lol no
51. Righty or lefty: Righty
FIRSTS
52. First surgery: Wisdom teeth, age 15
53. First piercing: Ears, age 6
54. First best friend: Carolyn
55. First sport you joined: HS Golf!
56. First vacation: Hmm. Sea World? Back when it existed in Ohio.
58. First pair of trainers: What are trainers?
RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: Nothing
60. Drinking: Water
61. I'm about to: get back to my fanfic
62. Listening to: Another song change! California Dreamin'
63. Waiting on: Someone to hire me...
YOUR FUTURE
64. Want kids: YES YES YES YES YES
65. Get Married: YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS
66. Career: YES. Lol. Hmm, science educator in a zoo or museum - and an author!
WHICH IS BETTER?
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs
69. Shorter or taller: Either
70. Older or Younger: Younger?
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Aww, come on, you can totally be both
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Hrm. No clue.
73. Sensitive or loud: Those are not really opposites...
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Haha, hesitant.
HAVE YOU EVER
76. Kissed a stranger: No, haha. Can anyone really see me doing that?
77. Drank hard liquor: Yep!
78. Lost glasses/contacts: I don't think so.
79. Sex on first date: Ugh, no.
80. Broken someone's heart: Maybe temporarily.
82. Been arrested: Nope.
83. Turned someone down: Not...directly.
84. Cried when someone died: Yes.
85. Fallen for a friend: Why yes I have.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
86. Yourself: Yes
87. Miracles: Yes
88. Love at first sight: No. That isn't love.
89. Heaven: Not really.
90. Santa Claus: ALWAYS. Seriously.
91. Kiss on the first date: Uh...I don't know. I wouldn't, but sure for other people.
92. Angels: Actually, yes. Though not in the way most people would.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: Nope
95. Did you sing today: Car rides are always better with singing.
96. Ever cheated on somebody: No.
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: Don't make me choose just one time!!! Paleontologists want to see it all!
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be: Early June, when Yin and I packed a lunch and went hiking in one of NJ's state parks. Sat by a lake eating ham sandwiches and talking about outdoor adventures. Stopped for ice cream on the way back. One of the best days of my life. =)
99. Are you afraid of falling in love: No.
100. Posting this as 100 truths: Sure!
Jun. 19th, 2009 @ 10:25 pm
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| » Meme stolen from Meg |
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RULES:
Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions.
Pass it on to 15 people you like and include me.
Try not to repeat a song title.
It's harder than you think.
Artist:
OK Go
Are you male or female
- Don't Ask Me
Describe yourself:
- Invincible
How do you feel about yourself:
- It's a Disaster
Describe where you currently live:
- The House Wins
If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
- Crash the Party
Your favorite form of transportation:
- 1000 Miles Per Hour
Your best friend is:
- A Good Idea
Your favorite color is:
- There's a Fire
What's the weather like:
- You're So Damn Hot
Favorite time of day:
- Shortly Before the End
If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
- Let it Rain
What is life to you:
- Oh Lately It's So Quiet
What is the best advice you have to give:
- Do What You Want
If you could change your name, what would it be:
- C-C-C-Cinnamon Lips (lol, okay probably not, but it was too funny to pass up)
Your favorite food is:
- No Sign of Life
Thought for the Day:
- Here it Goes Again
How I would like to die:
- Return
My soul's present condition:
- What to Do
My Motto:
- A Million Ways
Jun. 17th, 2009 @ 11:44 am
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| » ready |
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I am ready to start the next part of my life.
Had a meeting today to talk about my thesis. It went alright. They had some suggestions which are just impossible for the time frame, and impossible financially (flying around the country to collect measurements). But mostly things were reasonable. I have a lot of work ahead of me. Trying to look at it as the grand, climactic academic bow I'll be taking as I leave the field.
I am ready to move on from this. I am ready to move into the working world and leave research and journals and homework behind. I am ready to go do a job where I actually feel I'm accomplishing something every day.
I do not have a job yet, but I am trying. I'll get one eventually, I hope. Not sure where, though.
I'm ready to get away from Long Island.
I have a lot of memories here now, and when I stop to think about them, most of them involve driving.
Driving to school every day, dodging potholes. Driving home in exhaustion and trying to come up with an excuse to take a break upon getting home.
Driving to the grocery store, and debating picking up Burger King.
Driving to Amanda's/Heather's/Ashley's apartment complex, happy to soon be in the company of friends. Driving home hoping to avoid most the late-night drunk drivers, but running into all of them anyway.
Driving to Yin's. I know that route like the back of my hand. I could do it half asleep (and have). I know what lane to be in when. I know which side of the toll booths to go to. I know which are the best driving songs on my iPod. And I know how to distract my thoughts for the return trip so that I don't cry.
Driving to the vet's. I think this one stands out the most. Routine checkups, medicine pickups...those are some basic memories. But then there is also the frantic drive for Donny's emergency late-night clinic appointment. The silent drive taking Anika in for the last time...and the even more silent return. I think the drive to and from the vet's will always hold a permanent part of my soul.
But I'm ready to leave those drives behind. Establish new ones someplace else.
I'm ready to move onto the next phase with Yin, too. So is he. But that's one thing that the world isn't ready for us to do yet, so we have to be patient. Long distance will have to continue for some time, still. I think out of all the changes coming up in my life, that will be the one that will actually make me happy again. Will bring me back to my true self. My true self has grown to include Yin. And to have that stretched across state lines...is painful. I don't mean to sound tragic, but I really doubt I'll ever feel happy or complete until Yin and I can live together and not be long distance.
My life seems to go in these two year cycles lately. Two years in the dorms (two years of friendship with Yin) (two years of concentrating on classes and not working), two years in the house (two years of dating Yin) (two years of working at the museum in addition to classes), two years on Long Island (two years of long distance with Yin) (two years of TAing in addition to classes)...
Now that I'm nearing the end of one of those cycles, I am feeling anxious to start the next one.
Except for one detail:
Mikey.
Mikey is getting old. And sick. He came to me over two years ago and has lasted this whole cycle with me. I know that part of ending this cycle will be losing him. I do not know when, and I hope beyond hope it will not be soon...but I know realistically he will not make it through my next two-year cycle.
Rats have about a two-year life span. Mikey is 2 years, 3 months. Will he be with me when I move in the fall? Will he be with me when I turn in my thesis in August? I do not know. But I am grateful that he has stayed with me this long. He has been there to be my support during this phase of my life. And I will support him in return. He'll be strong until the end. But then I will need to say goodbye.
That is one thing I am not ready for.
Jun. 16th, 2009 @ 02:15 pm
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Wow. Just spent 36 hours either asleep or almost asleep.
After a month of crazy end of the semester stuff, and an active weekend of moving my sister into her new place, I went to be Sunday night at 10. Woke up at 11 on Monday, lounged about half asleep on the couch all day (literally), then went to bed again and woke up today at 11:30.
I feel incredibly refreshed now. I think my body just needed to halt everything for a while. I feel tons better today. More rested than I've felt in months.
May. 26th, 2009 @ 02:02 pm
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